I think oftentimes, the perceptions people have are inconsistent with what we would call reality. We spend our entire lives trying to figure out what other people think of us, failing to realize that they are doing the exact same thing. We all suffer from the insecurity of not knowing our exact place in the world and most conscious individuals have (at one time or another) pondered the meaning of life.

I would like to think that the decisions we make can affect the course of our lives (for better or worse) and that we all have some special purpose, but most often, I just feel like an ant in a giant ant hill. Am I doing what I want or am I helping someone else fulfill their dream? Its hard to tell. Humans are selfish actors, each playing a role to fulfill some need or desire and that is the reality we often don’t want to believe. Dreams and the idea that we can live the life we want to if we work really hard is looking more and more like a croc of shit to me.

Reality is cold and harsh, some have and some have not. There is no rhyme or reason to it and there is no purpose, it just is. As depressing as that sounds, I feel that I must accept it as a rational person. I would prefer to see things for how they really are, rather than create my own alternate reality. However, forcing yourself to accept this truth leads to inevitable depression, so the only thing to do is delude yourself as little a possible while retaining enough hope to continue.